Wednesday, December 29, 2010

TWO years. Two Whole Years...

Today is my two year cancerversary. I’m glad today is not December 23, December 29, or December 31, last year. I’m also glad it’s not December 29, 2008, or January 2009.

I am glad to be where I am, as opposed to where I have been, even with the impatience and the fatigue and the wanting to be done with all of this cancer (curse word).

My Eucatastrophe and Thank You post still sums up my thoughts and feelings about my process.

Somehow I need to figure out how to be glad to be here, for however long I’m still here, instead of feeling like I’m making up stuff do to while I’m waiting to go Home.

I have recently had the terrifying thought that this cancer (curse word) could drag out for another year, or several more years.

Part of my struggle with being here is that I have this mental picture of “death,” of the final Transition Home, and I have more and more limitations here.

Oh well, that’s it for now.

Today is also my parents’ 48th wedding anniversary. My parents are an outstanding example for their ten children and they are responsible for instilling in us the mental, emotional, and spiritual resources we continue to grow in. One of the most awesome things about my parents, for me, is their ongoing desire for personal change and transformation as they seek God's direction for their lives.

I will always think I have the most amazing parents in the world.

Peace and many thanks to all of you for all of your support, prayer, and encouragement throughout the last two years... Martha


  1. Happy Anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Depp! When I think of them, two words come to mind: Genuine and Joy. Genuinely Joyful and Joyfully Genuine.

    Praying that our creative Creator encourages you in your increasing limitations today.

    with love, Susan T.

  2. Deerest Martha,

    That is most extravagent praise which we would deflect entirely to our very gracious Lord who continues to have great mercy on us in our broken humanity!
    Of course, we think you are the most amazing daughter as you appropriate the same grace to the praise of His glory!
    Ever so much love, M & D

  3. My prayer for you:

    For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

  4. I'm sure your parents think that YOU are the amazing one! I read a comment your Mom posted on your 12/21 touched my heart, brought tears to my eyes, being a mom myself, and thinking about what it must feel like to have a daughter with your strength, courage and love. I could feel the love through her words.

    As I've said before, I know you don't really know me.....except that I'm in the worship team at Redeemer....but if there is anything that you need or anything that I can do for you or your family, just say the word. Feel like I know you from reading your blog and would be honored to lend a hand.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers every single day!


  5. I'm still here with you, Martha. And I'm glad you're still here with us... Happy Anniversary to your parents, too. I'm sure they're pretty amazing people. Sending you much love, many hugs and even more prayers.


    PS ~ I'm staying with Mic right now ~ that fabulous Bernese mountain dog that my friend, Rebecca, has... I'm dog~sitting. Dresden would love him. I hope she's doing well, too. I love the picture of the two of you in your Christmas post.

  6. may the new year bring you peace and happiness.